Most of these I've found on the internet, in books, etc. Others are my own creation. Enjoy =) BTW, if you are, or know who is, the author of any of the unclaimed quotes, please email me so I can give the author credit.
Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, and love like you've never been hurt.
No guy is ever worth your tears -- and when you find one that is, he won't make you cry.
When the power of love conquers the love of power, the world will be at peace.
Don't judge a person 'til you've walked a mile in their shoes....then if you still don't like them you're a mile away from them and you still have their shoes!!!
The most important part of history is His Story.
Courage isn't facing the situation, it's facing the consequences of that situation.
To the world you may just be somebody but to somebody you may just be the world.
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses more;
He who loses faith, loses all.
Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.
Your true friends stab you in the front.
If you want a friend, be a friend.
Someday you're gonna be starving and eating all of the words that you've said.
Success is not in never failing, but rising every time you fall.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. -- Dave Edison
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. --George Gobel
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. --Rita Mae Brown
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
Why not go out on a limb? -- that's where the fruit is.
Choose to understand before being understood.
Smile, it increases your face value!
A dog would make a perfect Christian and friend because it wags its tail and not its tongue.
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving.
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
A real friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out.
There are no strangers in this world, there're only friends we haven't met.
Life starts once you stop wishing for a better one.
Life is short, Death is sure, Sin the cause, CHRIST the cure!
Make your dreams big enough for God to fit in.
When the Devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
Trying to change the system from within is like trying to change a lightbulb that just went out in a pitch-black room without leaving it.
When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I do not feel it. I believe in God even when he is silent.
Have you ever wondered why we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
Ever wonder why we ship things by land but send cargo by sea? ...not to mention we ship cargo by air...
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you; it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it never was yours to begin with.
You may have to lose everything to find that God is the only thing you will ever need.
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation; because your character is what you are while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
There are always two choices, two paths. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.
Which is better? A lie that draws a smile or a truth that sheds a tear?
Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings do asians throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
The light went out, but where to?
Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
If the plural of "mouse" is "mice", shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?
If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
There are no mountaintops without valleys.
Don't put God in a box.
The only wrong we forget is the cruel murder of Christ on the cross.